WP's Key

Laugh and look at stories

Windows Anti Crash Key

Expression »press any key« derives from PC and software manuals, resp. It should just be pointed out to select just one key of the keyboard and hit it.
Is is told this inconspicuous expression had yet driven to despair the employees of Compaq's phone hot-line. Because all the time upset PC users called up having searched for the [ANY] keys of their keyboards in vain.
Therefore, in up to date user manuals (of other manufacturers, too) this expression is often replaced by »press return« or »press enter key«.

(Well, all of us have started in that way. ;-)

Entire Microsoft marketing, however, would have celebrated the availability of the key shown on the right like »The Millennium improvement - a quantum leap in user-friendly design! No fear of computer crash any longer!«

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(N-)Ostalgia - Any comment?!

Markt und Technik 50/1998

Eastern Germany German Democratic Republic (German: DDR) has reunited with the Federal Republic of Germany in 1990. The whole GDR? No, a small village just in font of the Polish frontier offers fierce resistance to the West-Rambos. Their support and economic base are the

DDR and GDR - SDRAMs

easy to identify by their logo - hammer and compasses.

Vorwärts immer, rückwärts nimmer (Engl.: get on always, backwards no way): »DDR2«, »DDR3«, »GDR3« and so on are already available. GDR still alive!

Exposé strikes decades after: in 1961 Walter Ulbricht, East Germany chairman of the head-of-state council of the GDR, did not tell a lie when he proclaimed:

Niemand hat die Absicht [, ?] eine Mauer zu errichten!

(Engl.: Nobody intends to build a wall) just shortly before building the Berlin Wall. Now it's clear he was talking about government building chief officer Dr. Karl-Otto Niemand, head of the Sozialistische Bau Zentralamt SBZ (Engl.: Socialistic Building Central Authority). (Later in the 1970s Dr. Niemand emigrated to West Germany and rendered outstanding services to the nearly natural integration of the Main Danube Canal between Nuremberg and Beilngries. At present according to certain rumors he is supposed to be the gray eminence behind the project Stuttgart 21.)

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Enemy mine - Foe by do-it-yourself

Other barrel bursts:
In the Army now - ohhh!

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Exercise demands were the reason to fire off a torpedo supplied with an explosive warhead from a warship on the high seas. Because of a fault in the torpedo drive it remained in the launching pipe. The captain decided to return to the harbor base to dismantle the torpedo there. Shortly afterwards, the ship was already homeward bound, the torpedo exploded.

What had happened? Safety reasons had forced the torpedo developers to take precautions ensuring whenever a torpedo returns to its launching device it will not destroy the own ship. An inertial navigation system checks whether the line of fire receives a turn of 180° and so, if necessary, makes the torpedo detonate immediately and therefore within a sufficient distance to the own ship. This mechanism had already been activated in the got stuck torpedo and when the ship had done its turn - bang!

According to Thomas Should we trust Computers? in: SHARE Eur. Assoc., Nijmegen (Netherlands), 1998, p. 161pp
(Thanks to Dr. D. Reinert, BGIA - Berufsgenossenschaftliches Institut für Arbeitsschutz)

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Anything is rotten in the State of Bavaria!

Ecology made in Bavaria it flourishes in secret

Enjoy the wood-study-path

Engraved with a little lack of piety
Nur kompostierbare Abfälle
(Engl.: for mixed manure trash only) is ordered at the graveyard in Neunhof near the City of Lauf.

Obviously artificial limbs have to be disposed separately. The collection of
Nicht verrottbare Abfälle
(Engl.: not rotting trash), however, is just placed close up.

No trespassing on both sides!

Exciting - and this is really the Beheiztes Terrassen-Freibad
(Engl.: heated public terrace baths) as the sign near Hirschbach/Oberpfalz claims?

Signs don't lie!

Terrace public bath?

Just nasty: always with a pot to the plant...

Effluent of the municipality had been led uncovered through a wood area into a brook for decades until the late 1990s, when a suitable sewage plant was built at last. In the early years near a road the stink was not to stand, therefore later the foaming slop was just led deeper inside the wood. The trees close to the waste water died shortly afterwards. That didn't prevent the nature conservation authority from setting up signs »Geschützter Landschaftsbestandteil« (Engl.: protected part of countryside). Now - surprise, surprise - one found the near flooded sand pit lake (besides a former ex garbage damp) is polluted and risky for swimming.

Over village Weiher (Engl.: pond) in case of flood

Ecology in focus the construction of cycling tracks is really to appreciate. But if a thirty meters wide and never ending extra swath has to be cut along the country road (trough old oak trees!), the whole thing is counterproductive anyhow. Especially because there are already best surfaced paths through the forest in short distance to the road.
Perhaps the money would be better spent in maintaining existing cycle tracks where one finds on a length of one hundred meters all Middle-European tar types - unfortunately not only side by side also staggered.

Modern living in green field site (and in the swamp)

Established country lore in the globalized world:
When the sangria changes to gluvine be prepared for winter's time.

Brave new world

newspeak: memory hole

Eminent, Orwell's litter bin out of 1984 has just reached us. Open flap for thermal disposal. Well, 1984 is already gone with the wind.

Especially because we are at the appropriate movies - obviously it isn't just one giant leap, but a small step to Soylent Green only. Well, existing resources should be used in an optimal way, however, won't it really be worth a deeper though if the gourmet temple lies close to the boneyard?
(City of Lauf, quarter Letten - Abdeckerei)

Ending with the advertisement for changing private teeth gold to money on the newspaper page with the obituaries (Fürther Nachrichten, 24th April 2010).

Else-when there was the collection for »Unser Dorf soll schöner werden« (Engl.: pimp up our town - well - let's get our town nicer) with some matchbooks (and grill lighter cubes?) gathered in the collection box.

From the gastronomy

Extreme far out - November offer in a supermarket in one of the largest wood and wilds regions of Germany »Fresh New Zealand deer meat preorder now for Christmas«.

Eat and pray: »Eye candy, the meal causes my stomach to rumble. And I have to belch all the time!« - »Well, hubby - maybe it was kangaroo meat?!«

Enjoy the menu of the faraway inn: »from private hunt - venison fresh from the country road«
»Upscale deer ragout Italian style« (run over by a Ferrari) and the vegetarian brunch: »everything what the lawnmower yields«.

Street of no return:
one way street to the graveyard

(You'll reach the Buddhist grave
yard passing the roundabout.)

Extraordinary customer service - the industrial bakery has provided its baked goods with meat garnish that virtually governmental sanctioned. Unfortunately bugs, insects, rodents and their excrement are not everybody's taste.
Well, have you already considered what a corn harvester just soaks in as bycatch - just from sand to a more or less complete deer?!

Exciting mushrooms in my lawn. Really eatable mushrooms? I'm not sure. Well, I could slip them to the neighbors. And if they keep their jalousies closed next day they obviously haven't been ones.

Elude the last tip of the nutrition consultation: »Death Caps stop aging process.«

It's all over now

Ebbing all hopes by official statement:

[...] You can withdraw this right to life insurance benefits at any time; after your death it cannot be withdrawn.

In the fine printed contract parts of the Versicherungskammer Bayern (Engl.: Insurance Chamber Bavaria), 2006

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Any other complications ahead?

Governmental clearness

Easier than you think - help in simple words:

The period of time for the institution of a legal remedy is one month. It starts with the end of the day this decision was made known to you. By sending a standard letter or by delivering a registered letter the publication is thought to be caused with the third day after giving it into mail not if the decision has been forwarded at a later point of time.
Hint: as far as the revenue office has taken a decision, which has been found in a basic decision, taken as a basis for this decision, the decision cannot be appealed from the argument that the decisions having been found in the basic decision are inapplicable.

From: Decision for legal advisory instruction of the revenue office, Bavaria in July 2001

Political correctness:
No War in Troy!

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EC directives and regulations - how I love ya!

Established to make it easier:

God's ten commandments contain 279 words, the American Declaration of Independence 300 words, the directive of the European Community about the import of caramel bonbons, however, has exact 25 911 words.

Lutheran info paper idea, Wetzlar, in: P.M. 4/82, p. 79

European EC directive WEEE 2002/96/EC (Waste Electric and Electronic Equipment), a rule covering the waste disposal of these devices in the whole European Community, should have been established. Unfortunately the transfer in national laws did not happen in a homogeneous way, manufacturers have to submit permission proceedings differing from country to country.
Thanks to modern techniques in some cases it works with the Internet, for instance in Finland. For all of those not capable of Finnish, additionally the documents are available in an alternative world language - Swedish.

EC bureaucrats have struck again after fixing the radius of curvature of cucumbers (no, not a joke): in accordance with their ideas cherries must show a diameter of 22 millimeters (about 0.978 inch) at least in order to be actually valid. In the decades or even centuries old arable land for cherry trees in Franconia, by the way the largest in the EC, traditionally natural sorts with smaller sizes are cultivated. How to call them now with EC concurring expression - »stone fruit formerly known as cherry«?

(To be fair one has to acknowledge that the cucumber initiative originated from (mainly German) retail chains, which use the regulation further on, although it is withdrawn since countless years. And that just the German legislature excels in dramatically complicating clear EU guidelines. Well, not even comedians need to tell the truth.)

Second helping

Enlightening, isn't it?

In the same way touchable metal parts do not count as touchable metal parts, which in case of an insulation fault could carry voltage if they are shielded from active parts by metal parts, which are connected to a protection plug or a protection contact, or which are separated from active parts by double or enhanced insulation.

From: WEKAPraxis, norms at a glance - DIN EN 60 309-1, section 10

Journalism 4.0

Endless loop in the various media:

[...]
Lobbyist Five and six makes seventeen.
Expert No, they add to eleven and that can be proven, namely ...
Moderator This is leading too far. Dear audience, like so often the truth will be somewhere in the middle. Now to our next topic.
Lobbyist Two times three makes nine.
[...]
(Any further questions?)

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Is anybody interested in pain?

Entering this defile ... On the wrong track: the new built cycle track crosses the brook inclusive waterfall on a long heavy inclined wooden bridge. Shortly after the opening the almost untreated timber has started what ecological products are appreciated for, it rotted. Therefore cycling had to be prohibited due to risk of skidding not always, bad more often and for longer periods.
The Bahn (= German railroad) wanted to be in no way inferior. The peaks of a metal grating fence accompany one always pretty in eye level.
As climax during a certain span of time a firmly mounted dustbin additionally decorated a risky bottleneck.

Secondary function: hand punch

Embarrassing - a rhino shaped stapler of a really ordinary stationer's shop (no S&M). Probably to archive agreements including harsh compromises.
Do you think it is worthy to carry the GS label (Geprüfte Sicherheitl, Engl.: proofed security)?
(I'm not sure whether even there isn't a special edition made of pine wood. ;-)

Ever rebuilt your home, too? Then you know also why many craftsmen measure with inch rulers. Centimeters or even millimeters are just too precise. Note: if the beer bottle doesn't roll away, it will be horizontal. Period.
And just a remove? »Three removes are as bad as a fire«. (Benjamin Franklin)

Harakiri for losers - well - beginners!

Especially designed for a child's hand? The hobbyist's knife with rim nut to fix its blades, either in the U-shaped grip or opened. A right-hander will be hit, when fixing and a left-hander will be hit, when loosening the blades in cutting position. The distance between the razor-sharp blade and the rim nut is even less than five millimeters (about 1/5 inch). Probably the handle is red to avoid blood attracting too much attention.

Everybody is concerned about one's smart phone, tablet and PC due to viruses and spying out. Additionally now smart car and smart home are to come?
The business idea: what's about a camera in the mobile phone switched on and read out externally? One could use this feature as video pager to check where one has lost the device. (Hackers already do that more or less.)

Enlightening: if a light dawns on you in the morning, it will possible be the electric tooth brush you press too hard.

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Anything is going wrong!

Exposed in black and white: one year in 90 minutes within an one hour broadcast.

Emitted at the time of the ancient Prussians already: »I dislike the whole direction.« Or in modern terms in the movie Der Schuh des Manitu (Engl.: Manitou's Shoe): »I'm dissatisfied with the complete situation.«.

WEG

Encounters in the wide world, [Unterwegs], besides / aside the road (der Weg = the path, weg = away, gone). And about the present managed working world. (Sorry in German only.)

Some own Marginal notes:

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End with Wolfdietrich Schnurre in Der Schattenfotograf (Engl.: The Shadow Photographer):

The Best story of my life. One and a half page in typescript perhaps. Author forgotten; read in the newspaper. Two serious sick men in the same room. One lies near the door, one near the window. Only the one at the window can look outside. The other one with no greater desire than to get the window bed. The one at the window suffers from this. To compensate the other one he tells him daily for hours what is to be seen outside, what is happening outside. One night he has a suffocation attack. The one at the door could call the nurse. Doesn't do it; thinks of the bed. Next morning the other one is dead; suffocated. His window bed is left empty; the one, who lies at the door up to now gets it. His wish has come true. Eager, hopeful he turns his face to the window. Nothing, just a wall.

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Windows 11 - again without the Any-Key!

When 4 x 360 KB on 5¼ inch floppies were just enough

Exposed: obviously Windows Embedded is in wide use with power saving lamps - these must boot at first, too. And there is a warm start as well.

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»Hey, just say anything!« - »Anything?«

French connection

Empirically some kind of horror trip: installing a French Windows version with a US keyboard. Just to mention »AZERTY« and the number keys with shift.

bytes: octets
keyboard: clavier (not: piano!)
mouse: Mademoiselle? (Well, it's clear - »Golden Lemon Award«)

And what is the meaning of »quitter« - »quit«, so exit without saving or »receipt«, after all exit with saving?

In different terms

Equal in other words:

A French colleague with an appreciative smile about Bavaria and the local way of life here: »the Mediterranean region of Germany«.

Whether the French »extraordinaire« is correctly given with the Frankonian »Dreggsagg« [Drecksack; Engl.: dirt bag; in real: ~ dirty old bastard] is very doubtful.

How to explain »tatar« to a Japanese? It's clear: »Sushi made of beef« (sudden idea during the conversation).

The »cat« in Bundeswehr (= Army) jargon: trap, mouse-, cross-country (in reality there is available »trap, rodent-, small« only).
And the anti-personnel mine turns into a »drone, static«?!

The »foreman« or »engineer« in manager jargon: »operating numbers producer«.

What is the Bavarian expression for VIP (very important person)? Freibier-G'sicht (Engl.: ~ free drinks face).

Upper-Palatinate evenness: »The farmhouse isn't ruinous! The owners just haven't fixed anything during the last hundred years.«

In Röthenbach (east of Nuremberg. Germany) a big bridge, among other things over the commuter train line, is named after its really highly appreciated French partner city Les Clayes-sous-Bois. A challenge for the Franconian tongue. Therefore besides the onomatopoetic version »Scheiß-Gleis-Boh« Brücke (Engl.: ~ Shit-Line-Railroad Bridge) also the sober alternative »Franzosenbrücke« (Engl.: Frenchmen's Bridge) exists.

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Anything Else?

Not from the stork, but from LIEDTKE

A kingdom for an idea

Explanation needed: at the Wöhrder See, a lake inside Nuremberg, many swans spend the winter. Despite the cold two male swans got greedy. A female swan fled into the bushes at the bank, but got stuck so unlucky that I had to free the helpless bird with difficulty. Just when the lady swan was alone the males were after her again. A couple of people watched the happening with interest. A little girl asked her mother what the swans were doing. The mother searched for a childlike answer and gratefully accepted my spontaneous idea with a smile: »The swans are waiting for the stork«.

Antimatter

Exciting dimensions in a technical drawing of an insulating foil: »Thickness 0.17 mm ± 0.20 mm«.

Technology connects

Engineering marvel - adhesive tape Tesa 50575 - accredited by Areva (Orano) and Siemens for use in nuclear power plants. You shouldn't be really surprised any longer!